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You know your relationship is headed for trouble and you’re determined to save it. Just imagine what it would mean if you could reconnect with your partner in a powerful and authentic way, using techniques that have been proven to fix a fading marriage before hope is totally gone.
What I will share with you are some effective but simple techniques that can change a relationship forever. These potent strategies were developed over the past 25 years and are now used successfully by counselors in marriage and couples counseling. As you study this article, I think you’ll begin to see that, though this might be tough at first to try in your relationship, the outcome can repair your relationship with your partner.
The first step might be the hardest of all, but don’t be scared off! You’re going to listen to your partner and not only listen, but find some kernel of truth in what they are saying.
You’ll have to do this even if what they’re saying is unjustified and unfair. I recognize that this can be very tough to do. But please don’t get hung up on logic or who’s necessarily right or wrong. You’ll be surprised to learn that this defuses a charged and bitter attack from your spouse almost straight off.
After you’ve taken that first step you’ll find that the last two steps are much more painless and less intimidating.
Most people know that empathy is putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes and trying to see the world through his or her eyes. For this step you have to use two sorts of empathy, “thought empathy,” which is when you rephrase your partner’s words, and “feeling empathy,” when you acknowledge how you think they’re probably feeling. Don’t expect yourself to get it right the first time you try it. Even though I do this for a living I still manage to mangle it sometimes.
The third step is to ask gentle but searching questions to learn more about what your partner is thinking and feeling. The idea is not to “catch” them in some way but to genuinely understand what’s in their heart and soul. If you’ve ever been really listened to by anyone, be it a parent, a friend, or maybe a teacher, you know how wonderful it can feel to be heard and to have felt like someone else gets it.
If your spouse feels that you actually “get it” they will not simply feel more closely connected to you, but they’re also going to be much more prepared to listen to you in return. And how might that affect your relationship?
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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – How to Fix My Dying Marriage
John Eckenwiler’s introduction to his private counseling practice