christian marriage preparation
what are the preparation steps for a christian marriage?
I need to know what a christian will do to prepare for their wedding, help : )
The only 2 things specific to CHRISTIAN marriage as opposed to any other marriage you want to succeed might be:
1) Seek Christian pre-marital counseling from your pastor or a pastor who is close to the family. Pre-marital counseling from a clergyman will delve into more spiritual issues critical to keeping a Christ-centered marriage.
2) Pray together – about the wedding, about any stress you’re feeling, about any r’ship issues you may have, about the future, etc. A Christian couple who truly wants to make Christ the center of their marriage will make prayer a focal point.
But there are a few other practical things that ANYONE should do before tying the knot:
1) Sit down and talk about any BIG issues that you feel might impact the marriage – family issues, credit card debt, student loans, etc.
2) Sit down and go through both your finances so everything is transparent. Marriage is a partnership and you can’t start things off by one or both people hiding something. When you get married, the attitude should be one of giving….as in, “what is mine, is now yours also.” There should never be an attitude of “this is mine & you can’t have anything to do with it.” Also, it’s important to do this step because you want to make sure you have the same spending & saving goals. If one or both of you are in debt, it’s a great first step to sit down & work through a PLAN to get out of debt. This will also test your partnership skills because it’s easy to be in love when everything is peachy…..but how do you communicate as a couple over things that could cause tension such as finances? It’s important to know that now.
3) Sit down and discuss your ideas on children. Too many people go into marriage thinking they see children the same. Then they have a child, and before you know it, they’re arguing over punishment, material gifts, etc. It’s good to know if you’re on the same page in those areas. And certainly talk about whether or not you even want children! I’ve heard of women marrying guys who said they never wanted children thinking “Oh he’ll change his mind” but they don’t. And vice versa – there are women who don’t want children. Perhaps it may seem early to talk about such things but this is someone you’re committing your LIFE to. You want to make sure they want the same things.
4) Lastly, talk about both your IDEAS of marriage. Too many couples think they both see marriage the same way in terms of expectations. What do you EXPECT out of marriage & your partner? Men aren’t robots – they can’t read our minds but too often women act like they should be able to. They can’t! And you’ll save yourself alot of heartache & arguments if you just talk about your expectations now. If you expect him to be home for dinner every night – say that. If it’s important to you that he be a very active father & maybe even take look after the child 1 day a week so you can go shopping or to the spa, then tell him that. At least then, if an argument happens later down the line, neither one of you really has an excuse. You’ve both laid out your expectations in the beginning. This isn’t meant to be an ultimatum and shouldn’t be presented as a list of demands or anything. I just mean that if 1 person goes into marriage thinking “well if it doesn’t work out there’s always divorce,” and the other goes into the marriage thinking “this is forever & divorce isn’t even an option” then of course the 2 people may have very different perspectives on marriage. You want to just make sure you’re on the same page.
Goodluck!
Christine Pembleton is giving away copies of the bestseller Lord, I’m Ready to Be a Wife
|
|
Before You Say I Do: A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples $5.56 Drawn from years of marriage preparation and enrichment seminars, this handbook delivers solid information on how you and your partner can make your marriage all that it is meant to be, particularl… |
|
|
The Marriage Journey: Preparations and Provisions for Life Together $12.19 This is a thorough, thoughtful book that wonderfully combines the richness of the Prayer Book marriage service with the best of psychology, sociology, physiology, and good common sense. It is wise, practical and long needed–The Rev. Carol Ander…. |
|
|
Two Shall Become One: Preparation for Engaged Couples and Refreshment for Marriage $6.50 This book provides Biblical principles upon which a strong marriage can be built…. |